GET A LIFE

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Do you have a life? Please think about this question, do you really have your life? I’ve heard statements like “get a life” on many occasions said to people who appear to be different and unconventional especially in matters of socializing. Many also think the whole concept of life and living is about fun, leisure, and enjoyment. When an individual is having a great time, you hear remarks like he’s enjoying life, when an individual is conservative and somewhat antisocial we conclude he doesn’t have a life.

What is life? I believe life is a season or a duration when an individual is conscious, aware and involved in matters of this world. It is a period when an individual is expected to fulfil a purpose, serve a purpose, make something great happen, impact the world and influence things positively. I believe we all exist and are in this world to improve things and make better the condition of this earth. We are all here to make the world a better place; to create value, not destroy value, to make people happier, mankind better and humanity more purposeful. We are here to improve the world.

This, though being a collective purpose and objective for all mankind, as individuals our place, roles and assignments vary. That’s why we are created and gifted differently. Our gifts and talents are indicators of our place, our projects and assignments in this world.The ability to recognise your place, your gift, your sphere and your assignment makes you truly relevant in life. The ability to act on who you’re created to be, what you’re created for, perform your duties, achieve your aim and do your assignment well makes you successful in life. Having a life is knowing why you exist and doing that for which you exist effectively.

Sadly, many do not know anything about their own lives, they are too busy focusing on the world and life in general, they are so unconscious of their own personal lives. They are too busy studying, watching and getting entertained by other people’s lives they are wasting theirs. They are too busy emulating other people’s lives they are doing nothing with theirs, they are busy trying to catch up with other people’s achievements they lack personal achievements of their own.What they do is what they see others do, what they believe is what they think others believe, the way they speak, dress, their values and belief systems is an adaptation from the life of people they admire, respect or envy, they have no minds of their own, they have no lives of their own.
So I ask the question again, do you have your own life? Answering the question correctly is not from the top of your head. A valuable life comes about by a deliberate act to design one. You ought to be the architect of your life. You should sit down, pick up a pen and paper and design a life for yourself. An undefined life is a life out of control. A life not designed can’t lead anywhere, a life undefined cannot profit its owner or anyone for that matter.
When your life is not defined, you feel so out of control, you’re most of the time confused about what to do and what not to do and you’re most of the time seeking for counsel and advice because you lack that sense of purpose and direction.

When you’re not clear on what your life is about you can’t be happy, you will be afraid and insecure, you’d lack self-esteem and will be desperately seeking after the approval of others.The people around you, your friends, colleagues, relatives and the media will keep making decisions for you and leading you on, in this your journey through life.

You will not feel free or independent, you will lack peace and be subjugated in life. You would always want to know what is reigning, what is trending, what are people doing now? How are they speaking now? How are they dressing now? Where are they going now? And you will be-devilled by the ‘I don’t want to be left out’ syndrome. Always chasing, always wanting to catch up with other people’s lives.
What is your own life about my dear friend? What are your personal dreams, vision, and assignment? What are you here to do? What do you need? Who do you need? Where do you need to be? Where do you have to go?

Who is really in charge of your life today? Are you so afraid to live and of living you’ve given up your life for others to use for their advantage? Who controls you directly or indirectly? Who is your master? Who masters your life? Who makes your decisions? Who is planning your life for you? Who tells you what to do and what not to do? Do you have a mind of your own, a life you do control?

Kick Your Fear of Failure to the Curb

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Everyone can do it! Do you have a fear of failure when it comes to quitting your job, growing your business, and achieving your dreams? You’re not alone. In fact, MOST people let this fear and its partner-in-crime, the fear of what people will think, control their ENTIRE lives. In fact, the most common regret at the end of peoples’ lives, according to Bronnie Ware, a lifelong hospice nurse and author of the bestseller The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing?

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Don’t let that be you! Today, you can choose to start moving past it. How do you conquer this super-common fear? It’s simple, but not necessarily easy: by TRYING THINGS. Choose something small, like setting a timer and doing something that’s been scaring you for 5 minutes today, like:

  • Reaching out to a potential customer
  • Following up with one
  • Making a post on your personal page
  • Introducing (or re-introducing) yourself in your favorite FB group
  • Going on Facebook Live
  • Putting pen to paper to process through your biggest goal or fear right now
  • Figuring out how you can pay for that business investment you’ve been wanting to make but scared to let yourself have
  • Making a connection with someone you admire
  • Being honest with someone close to you about your entrepreneurial dreams
  • Deciding on a price for your offer
  • Posting your offer on your business page

Try that one thing for just 5 minutes, and experience the rush that comes from completing it. Build that trust in yourself that you CAN accomplish things, and when the big stuff comes, you’ll be more sooooooo confident and ready to give them a go. What will you do for 5 minutes today? Or have you overcome this fear? How have you moved through it? Share below and let us cheer you on!

Passionate with Storytelling

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I am getting too passionate about storytelling these days, but in my case, a bit awkward and scary cos of the type of stories am interested in lately. The good part is that I will love to tell these stories through films and maybe perhaps through other means; some in this country and some abroad as most people here are not discerning to consume such horrific and sometimes infamous story cos of some outdated cultural mindset. So, beginning with one already. Let me give you guys a snippet.

I want to tell about a young girl whose parents sold to a brothel in the northern part of the country. This brothel is especially for little girls between the ages of 9 to 15, still virgins. In the brothel, men who are perverts and pedophiles even though they don’t think they are pedophiles visit often and get these girls rape and abused. The girls are forced to sleep with 5 clients per day and if they rebel, they are tortured severely.  These men are mostly the affluent but are sick upstairs even though the society recognizes them as noble, famous and philanthropist not condemning their shenanigans and they also hide under religion to do atrocity.

It’s gonna be mind-blowing and thought I should tell from a good friend perspective who survived and is not campaigning and fighting against.

In this story, the girl will a survival who later grew to fight this cause and became a strong international human right activists.

Horrendous and Gruesome RIGHT? That’s what I am talking about? They are more in my small head but as I said, some can’t be told in this country, I will work on the other ones with my partner out of the shore.

What Really Matters in Life – Part 3

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Purpose

The purpose is our why. It drives our actions. It fuels our passion. It encompasses our work, our relationships, and our approach to living our lives. It wraps around everything we do. It means living our lives in an intentional way. It gives our lives a sharper focus.

Our why is what keeps us going when life gets tough.

Our why gives life extra meaning and richness.

If we’ve lost our way and are struggling with our why, we can ask ourselves several related questions:

Where am I’m trying to get to?

What lights me up and gets me excited?

What’s my reason for getting up in the mornings?

What do I want more of in my life?

What do I want less of in my life?

The answers to these questions can be revealing and can lead us back to the core of what really matters most to us. Listen to these answers and use them as a guiding light. Revisit them often

Wait for the next chapter

What Really Matters in Life – Part 2

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Several years ago, I realized I was accumulating more in my life. More things that didn’t really matter to me or speak to me on a spiritual level. More commitments I wasn’t really passionate about keeping. This was all leaving me feeling a little flat and unfulfilled. It felt like something was missing, but I wasn’t sure what that something was.

A period of fairly deep reflection followed. I then started to take some action based on this reflection. Amongst other things, that action has meant:

I have made good on long-term dreams to write creatively

I have realized I value freedom and flexibility over the ability to just earn more, and I now seek out ways of living accordingly.

I have accumulated fewer material possessions but enjoyed more (travel and holidays, events, life experiences).

I have concerned myself a whole lot less with the need to keep up with others (a toxic and empty competition if ever there was one).

I have set up my own micro-business so I have more control over what work and clients I say yes and no to.

I have met and married a partner in travel and adventure.

I have embraced aspects of simplicity, 80/20, and other powerful concepts into my life.

The upshot of these and other changes has been that the quality of my life has improved significantly. I certainly don’t have everything figured out (spoiler: no one does!), but my compass in life is much more in tune with somewhere I actually want to get to now.

Alongside this period of internal reflection, I started to question lots about life.

I started to weigh what I thought I wanted with what I actually wanted. I started to question what I was really seeking. Whether I was on a path that would get me there. Whether I had people in my life that could support me emotionally along the way. I started to question what it was to be successful and fully explore my own definition of it, not just follow a second-hand version.

I also started to question whether what I thought was important in life was really important at all. I reframed my life and came to the conclusion that there are several areas, commodities if you will, that are vitally important to how we feel, that need careful attention.

This is what led me to the realization that our purpose, time, health, and relationships are amongst our most precious commodities. Such a simple and obvious realization, you may protest. Well, if that’s the case, how is it that we let these suffer so frequently?

What Really Matters in Life – Part 1

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“Life is short. Focus on what matters and let go of what doesn’t.” ~Unknown

Our most precious commodities are not our smartphones, 3D TVs, brand new cars, or even our big and impressive houses.

Our most precious commodities can’t be found at the bank. They can’t be ordered online. The truth is, they are on a very short list.

Amongst our most precious commodities are our purpose, time, health, and our relationships.

Train Your Brain to Be Optimistic

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Everything that life throws at us is not in our control. The only thing we can control are our thoughts, attitude and reactions. Would you rather be cynical about the world or adopt a positive mindset and live a more peaceful life instead?

Being optimistic is not as easy as it sounds. It requires practice and a lot of mental conditioning but it sure is a step forward towards a happier you.

So, stop feeding your brain with all the pointless, negative self-talk and replace them with these positive affirmations instead. Start a gratitude journal too, it’ll help.

In this imperfect world we live in, the least you can do is have hope and believe that the best will happen.